Deerhunter gets robbed while I get sloshed

Friday, July 27th

The day was turning out to be a two for one deal, with two social engagements on the calendar. The lineup was killer and free: first a pool party with electronic music and the best girls my friend Chris could dig out (the kid has good taste in both) and a Vice/Colt 45 sponsored show with Deerhunter.

Sweet bathing beauties followed immediately by the masochistic thrills of the sometimes we do noise, sometimes we do bliss of Deerhunter. I actually felt like being a part of the slobbering, adoring hipster mob sure to be there.

Me and Bishop spent most of the afternoon pregaming before hand, listening to music and getting crunk way too early: if I had none the results of the evening I would have slowed down then. But a tragedy struck; Bishop started to following his bliss a little too much and it led to Nerdia, land of video games. He just wouldn't stop playing, which led to a delay. We had planned to arrive around six and he didn't put down the sticks until the bell tolled, which led my roommate Arkin arriving home and asking for an invite.

Nada, nada and we didn't get going until 730, which meant we didn't get to the party until 8. By the time we arrived, with another export in Max, all the bbq and the babes had left, just like the sunshine. Also my crunk juice had worn off, so I was left to try to regain it with the help of my friend Jack.

After the mashups the hostest with mostest Chris left a lot to be desired, we decided to drink on our own turf, which was at least dry until we went to Lenny's for Deerhunter. But our drinking platoon was clumsy and slow and by the time we got back to homebase, we barely had time to crack a beer apiece.

I needed Jack once again once I got to Lenny's. A mistake. Deerhunter wasn't blissing me out, the hipster chicks weren't checking for me, and I was getting bored. Then I ran into minga number 2(having already had a previous roundabout with number 1) and I tried to get her to understand my story. She and a co patriot, used to my company, but unaware of my slumming, were totally digging my scene. I was drunk enough to actually sling to salami to minga number 2, who actually is a pretty cool girl, but I've always sort of wanted the copatriot.

But I was saved by the bell when a call from Betsy came in and alerted me that I didn't have to go down the road to darkness. I called a cab, but Betsy came and got me before I made anymore mistakes. Well, except two more.

The first was that I broke into my own home by smashing the window with a tire iron, after waving to my neighbor with the tire iron. But the second was way erogenous.

Before I made my hasty retreat, I had invited this fine specimen Brooke to the domicile. I actually passed out on the couch before her crew made it, but I didn't even respond to them when they were there.

In the morning, I had a wrap up: no girls because of choice or unconsciousness, a broken window, and an announcement on Myspace that Deerhunter had gotten robbed right outside of Lenny's. A night of so much promise squandered on booze.